I don't get yelled at often. I am not one for heated confrontations with strangers. In fact, I was raised very well by my parents, and was always taught to use my manners. I consider myself a very courteous person, and am quick to recognize when I have made a mistake or hurt someone, and always try to right my wrongs.
So, you can understand when I was a little shocked at my encounter with a woman in the grocery store today. I have just returned back from the farm market on Lonsdale and I need to write about this story, because it left me feeling slightly jarred and I need to get a few things off of my chest.
I was at the till, getting ready to pay for my fruits and veggies. I noticed that there was a collection of cute little basil plants on sale and I thought about how nice it would be to take one home (I had a new green pot that I thought would fit these herbs quite nicely). I went to reach over to get a plant, but there was a woman nearby them, looking over the chips nearby. I decided I would just pay for the plant and then pick one afterwards, so that I wouldn't disturb the woman. But the girl at the counter wanted a choice, and I could tell that this woman was probably also waiting to pay for her groceries, so I started to pick one out and the girl at the till came over to the plants to help me take one. I gently tried to reach and point one out for her to take over to the till, without disturbing the woman, but I guess she thought I was encroaching on her space. She turned around and said to me,"Why don't you say excuse me and pick out your damn plant already!"
I kind of chuckled, because I actually thought she was kidding. I mean, do people really pick fights like that in real life? Our conversation went on something like this:
Me: "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude. I apologize!"
Crazy Lady: "Oh right, you're sorry! All you Vancouver people, come in here, you're so rude!! Think you're so great...."
I apologized again, but she wasn't hearing me. So, I turned towards the counter girl while she finished ringing through my food. I was in utter shock and disbelief at the things this woman was saying.
Me: "Pffftt..."
Crazy Lady: "PFFFTT... PPFFTT....PFFFTTT...." (mimicking me)
At this point, I just ignored her and paid for my groceries, while the counter girl and I shared a "WTF?" look. As I was leaving, I turned to the woman, looked her in the eye and, with complete sincerity, said, "I hope you have a nice day". She retorted with contempt in her voice, "Well, I always DO!".
I left the grocery store feeling hurt and confused. I couldn't get over the things she was saying and I had to fight back a few tears. I mean, even though I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, I am an extremely sensitive person and things like this really affect me. I think, in some way, I could tell that this woman must be suffering somehow in her life, so much that she feels a need to act this way. Maybe I was taking on some of her pain, but whatever it was, I felt like shit.
I had to take a couple of deep breaths and remind myself that there was nothing else I could have done. By the time I made it back to my apartment building, I felt a bit better. I knew that she was obviously going through something that had nothing to do with me. But then, I started to feel angry at myself. Not for the same reasons that this woman was angry with me, but because I started to feel a little like a doormat. I was trying so hard to be understanding and mature in our interaction that I totally failed to stand up for myself. This lady had attacked me, insulted me, and made assumptions about me without knowing anything about who I was. Maybe I should have called her on that. You can't go through life being cruel to people, and you can't get away with insulting people who you don't at all know. A part of me thinks I was too nice and maybe should have put this lady in her place. But, I can't go back in time with my well-thought out remarks and give her my two cents. Just like George Costanza with his "jerk-store comeback", I was destined to life my life wondering what would have happened if I had stood up to my attacker.
So, now I'm feeling a little confused about the whole thing. Should I be proud of myself and my "WWJD?" attitude? Or should I be disappointed that I didn't stand up for my own integrity? Or, maybe the root of the problem is that I am secretly a little jealous of this woman, for the way that she bitched me out and called me on my shit. I guess that could be a part of it as well. Maybe I wish I had the guts that she had...
For now, I'm going to rest assured knowing that I tried to be the bigger person and I'm going to transcend the negative energy that she was trying to push on me. Seriously, every day is a test. Life throws these things at you, when you least expect them, and then the Universe sits back to see how you're going to react with you cross paths with crazy people and crazy situations. Except, it's a lot easier to deal with when you have a clear indication of whether or not you passed.......
- Heather